Spring Has Sprung!
“Corned out” clothing
The Owl in “Winnie the Pooh” referred to the various mating dances of different woodland creatures as being “twitter-pated.” [Note: not related to that popular website of a similar name] My best friend and I call it being “corned out” (replace “c” with “h”, vis-à-vis, “corny”). It's that time of year people. Spring weather is upon us. With it comes sunshine, wondrous bursts of colour, the sweet sword of pollination (allergies and food production), and much, much less clothing on everybody. But especially on young girls (preteen to teen).
So what? It’s not like they're naked. What's the point?
This means, that it is the time of year to “remind” young women and young men alike, that the prepackaged meat in the supermarket is “on sale.” In other words, you have to “buy it” if you want to leave the grocery store with it. It is not free.
Maybe I'm not being clear enough and unfortunately, this applies more to gals than guys but simply put; young bodies (absolutely not the sum total of what young ladies have to offer, but I digress) should not be on lewd display everywhere like they are worthless. Admittedly, I could be wrong, out-of-touch and/or simply not qualified to speak on the matter since I only have sons, but I am still certain that girls are worth more than ground chicken.
As the mom of a preteen boy, I understand clearly the impact of under-dressed girls who think they are being fashionable or (worse still) sexy, but only end up giving away freely something that should not be free. That's not a good thing. To counteract this, and for at least a year now (since my son has expressed interest in girls), I have been telling him that when he brings home a girl to meet me, she had better not be dressed like a porn-star-in-waiting or “I will send the young lady home to get some clothes on before she can come back.”
Yes, I am dead serious. No, I do not expect her to wear a skirt to her ankles or a turtleneck sweater in July. However, I do expect her to have respect for my house and part of that starts with demonstrating that she has respect for herself.
Two complete lines haven’t been crossed, they have been eliminated: 1) the line between what is sleazy and what is sexy; and 2) the line regarding why someone who cannot vote, own property in their own name or even buy alcohol, needs to look sexy in the first place. Why, does a girl aged 12-16, still living under her parent's roof, need to look sexy? Why is that OK with her parent(s)?
I want my son (sons in truth, but the little one is many years from this issue) to bring home a girl who is more than just “pretty” or “hot;” a girl who dresses like she cares for herself on an emotional level. Sounds like hooey, but confident young women do not need tons of external—exclusively sexual—validation to feel good. Besides that people, do you actually want a girlfriend who needs to be “checked out” by every single person who sees her?
Dad's, I hate to give you the psychobabble line about the “opposite sex parent,” but I know personally that it is true. She may not want to walk down the street with you, but when you're at home, if she knows that you think she's beautiful, and that you value and appreciate her uniqueness, she will not need to go out seeking that feeling of acceptance and belonging from random boys who will, by and large, only pretend to care about her.
I am only one person, but I am certain I am not the only person who grew up with “daddy issues.” So dad's out there tell your daughters that they are beautiful without makeup and that they are wonderful human beings; I cannot put into words how much they need to hear it.
As for my sons and me, I am doing my part. Both of my boys know that I love them for who they are, and that I think they are very handsome because I have said those words hundreds and quite possibly thousands of times and will continue to do so. I hope that when either boy brings someone home, each will choose a girl who has enough self-worth to cover herself up better than grocery store meat.